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Do You Remember Who You Were?

A few months ago I saw the eye-opening quote below:

"Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?" -Danielle La Porte

This quote forced me to sit down and reflect. I pondered this for weeks, and I have

finally come up with an answer. I used to be an extremely happy person, there were

days when I would smile for no reason at all.

When I compare the joy I felt then to how I feel now there’s a drastic difference, I feel

disconnected from that hope-filled little girl with pure uncontainable joy. The girl I am

feels foreign, she worries far too much and holds on to the past much longer than she

should. I feel like I have to regain my trust in myself which is proving to be extremely


When I found the quote above, I was reading the book The Four Agreements by Miguel

Ruiz. I had also recently listened to public speaker Lisa Nichols. Ruiz and Nichols

articulated the impact of self-limiting beliefs and how they affect all aspects of our lives.

Nichols recommended an exercise called Expose the Lies, which entails writing down

your lies about money, who you are, relationships, health, fitness and spirituality in

pencil. Then, you skip 4 lines in between the lies and write down your truths in red pen.

Once complete read through your lies and truths for 2 days once or twice a day until the

truths become more believable. After the second day of reading through your list, erase

the lies to reveal your truths. These truths provide you with a new foundation for your


How did it work for me?

I have attempted it twice and stopped because it is a very emotional process. Nichols

was not lying about that part! This process takes perseverance and consistency which

are things that I seek to improve on, sometimes I am quick to give up when I feel

uncomfortable. One thing that I've learned about myself this year is that I loath

discomfort. Which is silly that I am discovering this because I believe that everyone on

Earth seeks to be comfortable. Right?

Reading through all the negativity that I feed myself made me feel like someone was

pouring sour milk down my throat and forcing me to digest it. I even made excuses for

why I didn't finish the exercise, for example, I didn't have the time. Yet, in the past, I

have found time to binge several series on Netflix within hours. That being said I plan to

try the exercise for the third time and actually complete it because I do want to live a

better life than the one I’m allowing myself and this process may be the key to unlocking


I am worth every ounce of tears, sweat and mental exhaustion it takes for me to get

back to center. Below is a small list of my lies & truths:

Lies about Who I am

L: My life is a mess.

T: I am changing & growing toward greatness.

Lies about Relationships

L: I will never have a long-lasting healthy, loving relationship with a significant other.

T: I will only open myself to healthy, loving, respectful relationships.

Lies about Health & Fitness

L: It cost too much for me to eat healthily.

T: I can afford to eat healthily.

Lies about Money

L: I can’t afford my dream life.

T: My dream life is a life I can afford to put money and energy into, it is mine already.

Previously published by Black Girl in the CLE at


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